All You Need is Love

In an effort to avoid making a bunch of snarky remarks that I’ll regret later (let’s just say I’m feeling rather homesick and lonely again), I’m going to focus on an enlightening blog post I read a few days ago. Natalie Norton (one of my new favorite bloggers) recently made a guest appearance over at The Coterie Blog, and the things she said have really stuck with me this week (in some ways – in other ways I’m still feeling snarky and sorry for myself, lol).

If you don’t feel like reading her blog post (you’ll be missing out – she’s a great writer), the main gist is about various ways she shows love for herself and her family. Really basic things like doing a load of laundry each morning, sorting the mail on the way in from the mailbox (rather than allowing it to form a pile of epic proportions on top of the microwave – oops, did I say that out loud?), taking care of her body (daily shower, exercise, etc), and making sure to schedule a weekly date night.

While everything she said made perfect sense, the one that stuck with me the most was the laundry.

I’m so grateful for the opportunity I have to be a stay/work-at-home-mom. I love being able to watch my babies grow up and being there when my oldest daughter comes home from school each day. It definitely presents it’s challenges, though, and I’d be lying if I said it was all smooth sailing. I struggle a lot. I struggle with feeling like my business isn’t successful enough to allow me to genuinely provide for my family. I struggle with boredom and loneliness and a general feeling of isolation. I struggle to keep my house as clean as I would like, and from there, I struggle with a feeling of resentment that I’m the “only” person in the house who “cares” if anything is clean (this is absolutely not true – my husband and oldest daughter really DO care, and it hurts them every time I say those words out loud – I’m trying to get better about how I vent my frustrations). Which in turn leads to me feeling like I’m not good enough – I’m not patient enough, I’m not easy-going enough, and I’m not doing a good enough job to keep the house clean so that I *don’t* feel bitter about the mess.

Obviously, my perspective is all sorts of messed up. I’ve been looking at things the wrong way for a very long time. Natalie’s comments about the laundry were what really helped me to see the error of my perspective, and this week has gone much better. In her blog post, she states:

“Loving myself means putting one load of laundry in every morning, FIRST THING.

Laundry is the ultimate SUCK, and I HATE nothing more than hearing my husband and my kids say "Mo'om I can't find any clo'othes!"

I've decided that I love myself too much to allow myself to get behind. Having clean clothes to wear everyday, well, it shows my man and my boys that I love them too.”

This was the proverbial 2X4 to the head for me. I REALLY don’t enjoy doing laundry. I don’t mind the sorting or the actual washing and drying. It’s the folding and the putting away that makes it the epitome of tedium in my world. It’s one of the few thorns in my SAHM side. I just don’t enjoy it. And I tend to feel bitter that I’m the “only” one who “has” to do the laundry (again, not exactly true). Especially when it comes to the white load and matching up all the endless pairs of socks (and the annoyance of realizing that half the socks no longer have a match). Laundry is the chore that I avoid more than any other, which causes me to always be behind. The piles of laundry in my house are so big, that I become overwhelmed, and I avoid them even more diligently.

Natalie’s statements about LOVE really helped me to look at laundry (and dishes, and picking up after the baby) in a whole new light. Is laundry ever going to be fun? I’m not sure. But I’ve been trying to do at least one load of laundry first thing in the morning (including folding it and putting it away). I’ve been telling myself that I’m doing it because I LOVE my family, and I want them to have nice, clean clothes to wear. And guess what – it REALLY works. Even the folding and putting away hasn’t been as bad as I’ve always made it out to be. It’s a wonderful feeling to realize that I’m doing my best to make life pleasant for the people that I love – even something as simple as clean clothes makes a difference in the day-to-day routine. If I do one load a day (rather than waiting for everything to pile up for weekly “laundry day”), it’s not nearly such a daunting task.

I’ve been adopting the same perspective for dishes, and it’s making a world of difference. Now to just get the routine down to the point that I can start focusing on other areas of the house – like the bathrooms. :)

I totally agree with the other things she says (date nights, etc). I know Sasquatch and I are much happier as a couple after we’ve spent time with just the two of us. Unfortunately, we don’t have the luxury of a regular free babysitter around here. I have a couple of friends who have been willing to watch the girls in the past, but I don’t want them to feel like I’m taking advantage of them. At one point, I had hopes of starting a babysitting co-op and trading sitting services a few times a month, but that hasn’t ever come to fruition. Paying a babysitter is most definitely out of the question – as is actually going anywhere (it’s too cold to go for a picnic in the park right now). My parents and siblings gave us a “date night” for Christmas (dinner and movie gift certificates), but we’re saving it for Alice in Wonderland (I can’t wait!). However, as soon as Sasquatch’s company is earning a good income, a weekly date night will be a guaranteed happening at our house – happy, sane parents result in a happy, sane household.

Changing my perspective and focusing on LOVE being the reason that I do certain things around the house has made a significant difference in my attitude this week. I’m going to continue to focus on love, and think of my beautiful family every time I start a load of laundry or sweep the floor, and I know it’s going to help me be a happier and more grateful wife and mother.

The Princess just came home from school, and while my house isn’t perfect, I’m going to stop what I’m doing and go spend some time with her. That’s one of the perks of being a SAHM. She had a Valentine’s Day party at school, and we’re going to sort through her bag of treats and read all the cards and focus on LOVE again.

XOXO

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At Least She’s Looking at the Camera

There are a few things I’d like to blog about, but I’m going to take some time to develop my thoughts before posting them. So for now, I’m just going to share a couple pictures of the littlest monkey. She was reaching for the camera – hence the pained facial expressions. I’m trying to get better about looking at the bright side of things, so I’ll just say I’m glad that she was willing to look at the camera for these images. And I’m grateful for bounced flash which provided the nice catchlights (I’m a sucker for a great catchlight) and modeling on her face. ;)

Oh, I’m also grateful that it looks like her hair is FINALLY going to start growing. Although I probably need suggestions for easy hairstyles to get her through the mullet phase.

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If You're the Praying Type...

Last Saturday, this family experienced a tragedy in their home when their youngest baby boy was found unconscious in the bathtub. I cannot begin to fathom the fear they're experiencing as they watch their little boy fight for his life at PCMC. If you get a chance to read the blog - I highly recommend it. You'll need kleenex, for sure, but your faith will intensify 100-fold.

I read all of these amazing stories about the angels who work at PCMC (and every other children's hospital), and I pray daily that my husband's company will take off SOON. We have some ideas for ways to utilize the program that would really help the families at PCMC and every other children's hospital as well. I can't wait for the day when this company is more than just a concept, and we have the financial means to donate certain aspects of the program to various children's hospitals in order to help the families of the children staying there.

In the meantime, I'll continue to pray for baby Bronson, for my cousin's little boy Carter (who will be going in for major heart surgery next week), as well as Natalie Norton and her sweet family.

If you would like to help a GREAT cause and get a beautiful handmade keepsake in the process, be sure to check out my friend Brae's Etsy Shop. They are selling "Spoons for Scarlet" in order to earn money to donate a tree to this year's Festival of Trees (the proceeds of which benefit Primary Children's Medical Center). The spoons are fun and whimsical, and you won't regret checking out the shop.

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Sparky's New Word

Sparky still doesn't say much. She definitely communicates, but most of it is non-verbal right now. Her pediatrician isn't worried about it - she makes eye contact, and she definitely understands what we're saying (her ability to do the exact opposite of what we ask her is uncanny!). She plays "pretend" amazingly well (you'd think she constantly had something in her mouth the way she eats pretend food, and she can turn anything from an actual cell phone to a shoe into a phone and have long pretend "conversations).

Besides, her big sister was a late bloomer in the verbal department as well. As much as I wanted her to hurry and grow up and learn how to speak (for some reason I thought this would magically make tantrums less severe - ha!), there are times now that I wish she'd stop talking for just a moment or two. (I'm sure that once she's a teenager and never wants to talk to me, I'll be wistfully looking back at the days when I was hoping for a little peace and quiet).

Sparky says a few words, and signs a few more. She's quite adept at saying "Da-da," she'll occasionally say "Mama" (although she knows how much I want her to say it, which makes her less willing to do so unless she's in just the right mood), and she's attempted to say her big sister's name a few times. Sasquatch said that while they were in Utah, she took a huge liking to her Uncle Joe and would try to say his name in the middle of all her babbling.

She's very skilled at signing "please," "more," "food," "milk," & "finished" and she's created her own weird little sign for "juice." She also loves to wave "bye-bye," and it's quite adorable to watch her blow kisses to everyone she meets.

Her very favorite word right now is "touch." She loves to be picked up, and then she'll point to various objects around the house and say "touch" so that you'll take her up to said object and allow her to touch it (she's particularly fond of light switches, thermostats, and anything else with buttons - just don't tell her it's a button, or she'll lift up her shirt to point at her own little "button"). Her second favorite word is "downstairs" (although it sounds more like "Dolce," or "dont touch" and Sasquatch makes her mad by saying "Dolce & Gabana" every time she asks to go downstairs - which is about every 30 seconds if you dare to attempt to keep her upstairs in the loft with all the toys).

She learned a new word today. I was making her the only thing she'll eat for breakfast (waffles), and she was getting impatient for the toaster to finish. I pointed to the toaster and said "waffle" and then she pointed to the toaster and said "waff-uh." We did it a few more times to verify that she was actually saying the word, and she said it every time.

We've also been practicing saying "baby." The first time we tried it (she was in the car with me running errands and she was getting tired and fussy) she repeated it every time I said it. Now it's more hit-and-miss. Sometimes she'll say "baby" and point at herself. Other times I'll say baby and she'll just sort of wave at herself.

She may not have a full vocabulary yet, but I'm trying really hard to just enjoy her babyness and allow her to grow up at her own pace. I should probably be doing alphabet flashcards or at least working on colors or something, but somehow I'm just not structured enough to do that at her age. I guess she'll just have to settle for a regular preschool rather than a genius preschool if that's in our budget by the time she's old enough for preschool.

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More Valentine’s Pictures

Here are the rest of my favorite pictures from The Princess’ Valentine’s Day session. I didn’t really like the tutu after I finished making it, but it photographed better than I expected.

I edited out the graffiti on the image below, and left it there on the next image. The color on the image below looks a little off on here, but it’s cute in Photoshop. :)

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Valentine’s Day Portraits

Since the Valentine’s Day mini sessions ended up being a bust (I booked a big fat ZERO sessions despite my various marketing efforts), Larisa and I decided to take our kiddos out last weekend for their own special Valentine’s Day portraits. While I’m disappointed that I apparently can’t even give my work away for practically free right now (the mini sessions were a REALLY great deal – maybe I was giving away too much), it was really fun to take The Princess out for a portrait session. Sasquatch and Sparky were in Utah (keep your fingers crossed that his new business takes off soon), so it was just me and The Princess at home and we needed to get out of the house.

Here are a few of the Valentine-themed portraits that we did for the Valentine cards she’ll hand out at her class party. Which reminds me – I need to make a final decision on which design we’re using and get the order sent to the lab.

I’m playing around with various vintage looks – the goal is to develop an editing style that’s instantly recognizable as “mine.” Larisa and I were talking over the weekend. As much as I LOVE the bright, humorous, FUN style of so many child photographers, it’s not really “me.” So I’m trying to find a niche that really is me and makes me more marketable as an artist.

 The morning shade made it absolutely freezing in this wind tunnel of a stairwell, but she was such a good sport about the entire ordeal. We walked over to Starbuck’s afterwards for a hot chocolate. That’s right – I’m not above a little bribery to get nice portraits of my own children.

  I can’t decide if I like this image better in black and white or “vintage,” so I’m sharing both.

I absolutely adore the combination of these shoes and tights and felt that they deserved to be featured in a picture all by themselves.

After the hot chocolate break, the weather warmed up considerably. We found a couple fantastic urban areas and created some tutu portraits which I’ll share later in another blog post. 

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Finally Got “The Shot”

When it comes to wall art, I feel like certain things need to be balanced. One of the reasons there are currently no portraits on my walls is because I have favorite wall portraits of The Princess, but no coordinating prints of Sparky.

One of my favorite images of The Princess was taken when she was about 9 months old and I was experimenting with my studio lights for the first time. She was sitting up, but didn’t know how to crawl, so she wasn’t mobile yet (as a sidenote: this is the very best age for photographing babies!). I surrounded her cute little bare body with lots of white tulle and placed a long strand of pearls around her neck. At one point, Sasquatch walked into the room, and she leaned forward just a little bit with the cutest “I love my daddy” smile on her face. That was the first time I felt like I captured “the shot” with one of my own children. Of course I had to have a wall portrait created. I don’t have the file on my computer at the moment, so there’s no way to share the image in this post, but most of you probably remember the image.

The print has never made it onto my wall since we moved out of our house in Stansbury Park. After we moved from that house, we never seemed to stay in one place long enough for our walls to be decorated. Since we’ve moved here, it seemed unfair to have a “shrine” of portraits to one child, while not having any large portraits of our other daughter on the wall. So for a while, we waited for me to capture a similar image of Sparky. The image was finally captured a few months ago, but for some reason, I’ve never had the wall portrait printed. My goal is to take care of that this week. This image has been shared on the blog before, but here it is again. It’s not an exact match of The Princess’ 9 month picture, but they’ll look cute on the wall together. (It looks a bit red on here, so I think I might fix the color a bit before sending it to the lab).

While living in Stansbury Park, our breakfast nook had AMAZING light. I captured a beautiful series of images of The Princess while she was standing on our kitchen table. I printed a 16X16 wall portrait of one of my favorite closeups, and while going through boxes a few weeks ago, I unearthed it again. Since then, the challenge has been to capture a similar closeup of Sparky. This is no small feat, because Sparky absolutely refuses to look at the camera. If she’s looking in the general direction of the camera, she’s running at full steam with hands outstretched to touch the lens before I pull the camera away.

The fates smiled on me the other day – we had good light in our loft upstairs (I think I only had to set the ISO to 800 – thank goodness for a camera that performs well in low light!), and Sparky was in a particularly cooperative mood. I finally managed to capture a closeup that I like.  Hopefully Sasquatch will be willing to help me get some art up on the walls once the new prints arrive later this week.

I’m sharing this last image just because I think it’s cute. Since the intention was to create a black and white print, I used the pink blanket as a backdrop because it wouldn’t matter with a black and white image. During post processing, I decided that I loved this particular image in color. It’s so rare to capture her looking at the camera with a happy expression on her face, that I may decide to get this one printed large, too.

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