First Misunderstanding

The Princess has been excited about her first trip to the school library since last week. Yesterday was the "big day" and she was sooooo excited. She woke up extra early to wash her hair so that she would smell like coconut (her current shampoo "flavor of the week"), and put on a special dress to wear to school.

When she came home from school, the first thing I asked her was, "How was the library?" She told me that she didn't get to go to the library because she hadn't taken a hardcover book back. I was confused, and tried to get her to clarify, but she was upset and started crying. I tried to get her to explain the situation better, but all she could tell me was that the teacher didn't let her go to the library because she didn't have a hardcover book. She was getting more and more upset that I didn't understand and less and less coherent. So I told her we'd talk about it more when her dad came home from work (he's sometimes better at *calmly* asking the right questions to get clear answers from her).

When Sasquatch came home, we talked to her about the situation again. She just kept saying that she was one of 4 kids who didn't get to go to the library because she hadn't taken a book back. We verified that it wasn't the paperback "take-home" book she'd borrowed from the class (not the library) the week before. She insisted it was a hardcover book.

Finally, I had an epiphany. I realized that it was Wednesday. She hadn't been in school the Wednesday before (being a bad mommy, and knowing that all they were doing in school was writing their names over and over and over, I'd allowed us to take a "field trip" to the beach), and therefore, had been unable to go to the library. If the other kids had gone to the library that day, they all had books to return. I promised her we'd talk to her teacher today.

This morning, she reminded Sasquatch several times (both at home and in the car on the way to school) that he needed to talk to her teacher. He went in, asked about the situation, and reminded the teacher that she hadn't been in school the Wednesday before. Her teacher immediately realized the mistake, and felt awful about it. She promised that The Princess would be allowed a special trip to the library today to check out a book. So it all worked out in the end.

This parenting thing is heart wrenching sometimes! I know it was all a misunderstanding, but it broke my heart that she was denied something that she had been looking forward to for such a long time. If she had been denied the privilege due to naughtiness, I would have appreciated that she learned a life lesson. But the fact that she hadn't done anything wrong just made my heart hurt for her. It scares me to think about her growing up and all the times she's going to be hurt and I won't be able to do anything to prevent it. I know I can be here to pick her back up and try to make her feel better, but it's sooooo much harder to watch your children suffer than to go through it yourself.

I think part of it is that I remember what it was like when I was that age. Little things like trips to the library mean EVERYthing when you don't have to worry about mundane things like bills to pay. It's so easy to have your heart broken, and eventually the innocence wears away and you become a cynical grown up. I hate thinking that my little girl is starting to grow up and experience the "real world." I know she's strong and resilient, and I pray that she'll turn out well in the end, but I hate that she ever has to suffer.

I guess it gives you just a teeny tiny understanding for what our Heavenly Father feels when he watches us suffer and knows that we have to experience those things for ourself. I can't even begin to fathom the agony He felt when he watched His Son suffering on the cross and begging to have that pain taken away from him. In a small way, little experiences like these help me to understand that a little bit more and make me grateful that we have a Heavenly Father who loves *all* of us enough that he allowed His Son to suffer the ultimate pain in order to allow us all to return to Him some day. It makes me want to work harder to do what I need to be doing to earn the privilege to return some day, and to inspire my children to want to do the same.

Shayner and Ern  – (September 24, 2009 at 11:19 AM)  

awww Shallyse! I love this post!! Poor Princess... that made my heart break! I am glad things got cleared up. You know.. someone was telling me the other day that you never get a full feel of how much our Heavenly Father loves us until you have your own children... and that hit hard! I know you can love yuor children, but I will never know what that kind of love is until we have children! I think that your view on that is beautiful! Your a great Mom!!and a great sister in law!!
Love you! thanks for sharing!

The Gentry Family  – (September 24, 2009 at 12:49 PM)  

Thanks for sharing. I have been experiencing sort of the same thing with Aden. On the second day of school he told me he had a fight with his friend and that he had to play alone at recess and I cried! It's so hard to hear about their pain and not be able to fix it! :( I can't even imagine the pain I will feel when he is really hurt some day... motherhood is hard!! But so worth it! :)

SueFitz  – (September 30, 2009 at 1:27 AM)  

Congrats on your blogoversary!

Some of those looks.....

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